Wearin' of the Green

Guinness - The Perfect Pint

Anachronism Alert

I'm not one to court controversy, so you won't see me posting a link to last night's episode of the HBO series "Big Love" here. I don't even get HBO. For a reason. And that's not it.

I know all about the series, though, and have seen snippets of it here and there during the time it's aired on Home Box Office. More importantly, I know the subject matter, since Mormonism and polygamy are two parts of my richly diverse heritage.

What I want to talk about is not whether HBO or any other media outlet should air or depict religious rltuals that are considered sacred by their adherents (television and film have been doing that for years).

I want to talk about anachronisms.

For heaven's sake, people, if you're going to depict a particular cultural group, get it right. It's not enough to get it 85% right, or 94% right. Get it right.

Teapots.

The burning question on my mind, and everyone else's, this morning, at least anyone who's halfway savvy about Mormon culture, is what on earth was in Ellen Burstyn's teapot?

I can't think of one time in my entire life that I've ever gone into an LDS home and had a Mormon mother pour anything from a teapot into little porcelain teacups.

Never.

Unless of course you count my Great-Grandma Elsie, who was a convert from England transplanted as a young girl to the sagebrush of Wyoming, and who late into life still liked her tea in the afternoon.

Other than that, no. It's a non-starter. Mormons don't drink tea or coffee. Postum went out a couple of generations ago, with my great-aunts.

The only hot drink you'll find in fashion in LDS homes, worldwide, is hot chocolate. Cocoa. Due to a particular variable interpretation of Doctrine and Covenants 89, the Word of Wisdom.

I can't think of one time, ever, I've seen it served in porcelain teacups as though someone were coming over for sewing club, or bridge, to chat with the girls. It would be served in steaming mugs with marshmallows and lots of calories. Not in teacups.

So that's my beef, HBO, and everyone else out there plying craft. You want to depict a cultural subgroup? Get it right.

Ellen Burstyn wouldn't have had a tea set. Except for show.